Being single can be daunting, lonely, and seemingly never ending. It has this curious way of making you believe that something is wrong with you: that you’re not pretty enough, skinny enough, muscular enough, manly enough. Never enough. And then you find yourself in your room, alone, crying “I give up! I’m never getting married.” or “My life is over! Love sucks!”
But can I let you in on a little secret?
Whoever told you singleness was a curse was out of their mind. The real curse is thinking that it’s a curse. The issue with singleness all boils down to two things: purpose and identity. Why are you on earth (Acts 20:24)? If it’s to find love and get married, well then I hate to be the one to break it to ya, but you got a long road ahead of you. I’m not even married or in a relationship and I can tell you that putting all your hope into tying the knot will let you down every single day.
Who are you? If you’re looking to people, relationships, material things, or experiences to define who you are then again, I tell you that there is a long road ahead of you (Ecclesiastes 2:17-20). The things of this world will inevitably fail, and when you find yourself in your room, tears running down your cheeks and despair in your heart, you need to know that who you are is found in something that cannot fail.
Before you even consider being in a relationship you have to have to have to know who you are and why you exist. And you have to know that in order to find a steady, hopeful identity and purpose you must trust in the One who formed you in your mother’s womb (Psalm 139:13-16), who contains no faults, and who will never forsake you. The result of defining yourself as a child of God is a satisfaction, fullness, and love that you cannot even begin to wrap your mind around. You do not deserve it, but because God loves you that much, no matter what you do, no matter how many times you leave Him for other idols, He will always be in the same place (1 Corinthians 13:4-13). Just waiting for you to run desperately back to Him.
If you do not know Jesus as your Lord and Savior, but long for deep, unconditional love all you have to do is say yes. Say yes to Jesus’ invitation (Ephesians 2:8-9). Believe that He died for you, to take away your sins, to replace your guilty record with His faultless record. Say yes to spending an eternity in heaven, a perfect place where you will always be enough for Jesus. Believe in Him and find security, purpose, and peace. I could go on for days on just how sweet it is to be in a personal relationship with the only One who will never let me down.
If you do know Jesus as your Savior, then understand that if you’ve identified with any of the things contrary to what He wants for you, that you are in good company. Every single one of us believers is still a sinner and certainly struggle with these feelings. We will never be able to perfectly do anything, and that is okay. That is why we believe in Jesus! And that is why His wonderful gift of grace is something to be celebrated. Life is a journey of seeking Him to be refined and transformed (Romans 12:2).
AND NOW TO CELEBRATE SINGLENESS!
Have you ever thought of singleness as a gift? You’re probably like, “Yeah right, this sucks.” But seriously… think of all the good things about being single.
You get to do what you want, when you want. You don’t have to try and navigate someone else’s emotions when it feels like you barley even know what’s going on in your own head. You save money by not having a date night (great news to broke college kids)! You can work on yourself (reading books is one of the best ways you can do this- if you need suggestions let me know… I love books that expand your mind and help you become more self aware). You save lots of time. You learn to be independent. One study said you’re more likely to be (and stay) in shape! You can create your own routine and schedule without planning around someone. You can really invest in your friends and family. You get more alone time (introvert or extrovert, this is a beautiful thing).
Wowza. Look at all those reasons being single is awesome. NOW GO EAT SOME CHOCOLATE, REMEMBER WHO YOU ARE, AND KNOW THAT YOU’RE SO LOVED!!